The excitement and stress pre-trip were at times unbearable. “What am I doing, I can’t afford this. How do I do this amount of research in such a short time?…. etc.” It became a roller coaster of emotions. Each day I became more dependent on Tums and Perrier to calm my Topsy -turfy stomach.
Then the time had come, it was time to start packing the suitcases and go over the checklist of items to take. I ran the chant through my mind. “it’s going to be okay, all will work out. This is an important step in your career. You cannot move forward without the action to go forward..” My life mantra – No Risk, No Glory. So, I started my coffee came into my office, pushed the POWER button on the computer and heard a few clicks.. ‘hmm that was strange’ computer was slow to start and finally the sign in box appeared. I signed in and began the motions to click the same icon I do everyday, the Internet. Nothing happened. Then the software security box appeared and disappeared, a couple of times. Tried to open the program – nothing. Moved the cursor over to a couple more icons, click. Nothing. NOOO!!!! This is not happening. Yes it happened. My computer crashed the day before leaving.
Now I am a woman with remarkable means I will say. I have the ability to find positive in every negative. I can work through things with calmness and no longer lose it as I did in my ‘younger days’. Immediately a massive headache set in, the stomach began its little pitter-pat, rumble, ugh dance – and I had to leave the room. I sat on the couch had a moment of ‘why is this happening?
Well it was simple. I had to readjust and work it out. Whatever it was that invaded my computer – it was its problem, not mine. I backed up, restored, worked a few things out and dealt with the fact that for two weeks things were going to be different. It was my time, just for me. Everything else could find the route right into the burning pits of… well you know where.
My plan didn’t work out as I had envisioned. I wanted to video document as much of the trip as I could, well that didn’t happen. A few videos came about but I did manage to capture 550 photos. However, I will have the indie documentary that I had planned, it’s just set differently. I think this way will have a better impact.
I brought back a mound of research material which now sit right here at my finger tips. I don’t have a photographic memory of every single thing I read. But I will remember where I saw it. I have 550 photos I can glance at and remember the moment I was there.
My story now has a richness I will work till my fingers bleed to get it right. It was not just a research trip it was a discovery of what I can do. What I can accomplish and the infinite possibilities that I will encounter. All with the help of the incredible women I have discovered. I have to thank my gals, they were looking out for us the entire trip.
Okay I’m tired now.
Wouldn’t trade it for anything and I’d do it again. Well worth it.